the sarchasm

BETTER BRACE YOURSELF MILDRED

Rule with an IRON FIST!

August 14, 2009

adam:

via fail owned pwned pictures
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Adam
We're smart ones up here.
 

July 25, 2008

adam:

I don't see anything incorrect about this.

allister:
As a dyed-in-the-wool Quiverfull, I think these foosball heathens need to put their john-peter where their mouth is (but not in their mouth, thats sin) and start procreatin'.

Remember, the Vagina is not a clowncar.

And don't even think about NOT dressin' all the youngins' in jean dresses

 

July 22, 2008

adam:

Hell, if you can’t stand the Heat or smell get out of the city. Or call in the Bureau.

And I know we said no major news sources for posts but his is Canada.com. I think I’m safe.

allister:
Awww, thats cute, Canada cares. "Where perspectives connect."

How about they get their thumb out of their ass and man up like a real news agency like, oh, say... "The People's Korea!"

 

July 21, 2008

allister:

Reminiscent of a week-old noodle up your nose with a hint of puke and undertones of ass.

First whiff of 90+ degree baked garbage this AM. Can't wait for more.

Also, word of the day: malodorous.

 

June 4, 2008

allister:

Long live the parahippocampal gyrus!!!!

Good thing this site has a right frontal lobe the size of an elephant dick.

 
allister:

Beware the Hong Kong. According to MacAfee 19.2% of all .hk domains contain malware.

And they dare to tell you won't get kidnapped and de-fingered at .co?

 

June 3, 2008

allister:

After a very brief hiatus (and brain surgery, a year trip to china and a margarita-fueled binge) the sarchasm is being resuscitated. Mostly due to the brain surgery though.

Too bad the assclams couldn't bother spell-checking "sarchasm"...

 

May 29, 2007

allister:

Breaking News!!!! Japan sabotages USA!

 

May 20, 2007

allister:

Brilliantry by Hitchens: If you gave Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox.           Watch it in all its glory -
stay for the last 5 seconds.

 

October 2, 2006

brian:

Some moron wants to ban Fahrenheit 451. In addition to a number of obvious things, someone should teach this guy about irony. As a sidenote, someone might also want to teach the people that code Houston Community Newspapers a little something about paragraph breaks and column width. This one is a tough read (visually).

 
brian:

The top 100 pages on Wikipedia for September. Sex Violence and Rock & Roll! (Also video games.)

 

September 30, 2006

allister:

Reason #437 to not rent a stupid Explorer limo: You look like a jackass.

 

September 29, 2006

brian:

New York to ban Trans Fats! A liberal city like NY? You'd think we'd be a bit friendlier towards all things trans...

 

September 28, 2006

keith:

How do you get rid of all them dang aliens and homo's in North Carolina? By having a "who can make the most ridiculous smear ad" competition! I wonder who will advocate for the zombies though? Clearly not the pirates!

 
allister:

Bear goes postal on thousands of fish. A teddy bear.

 
allister:

Alright, alright... this damn thing just wouldn't quit. And hell - there are some links that are just *destined* for the sarchasm.

Mark this as the triumphant return. Break out the trumpets.

Where's that bloody Minnn-eee-sotan and the funny lookin' chump on the milk carton?

 

September 24, 2006

brian:

Clinton gives Chris Wallace the verbal kick in the groin he so richly deserves - and on Fox News to boot!

allister:
...and Fucks News responds with a pogrom against the clip on YouTube.
 
brian:

Allister's adventures in China continue...

But seriously, now that he's left us for bigger and better blogs, check out afarther for some daily interesting tidbits about a yank teaching English in rural China. Not to be missed.

allister:
ha. ha.
allister:
Just because you have Photoshop that doesn't make you a comedian.
 

September 21, 2006

brian:

Come Out & Play this weekend in NYC! And no, this has nothing to do with pop-punk band The Offspring.

 
brian:

If your friend Andrew Jackson jumped off a bridge would you do it too?!?

 
brian:

I guess they have to do something to make those Sawks games worth watching...

 

August 27, 2006

allister:

At least they could have nixed the dirty planet, Uranus.

 
allister:

christ almight - must i?

does halfway 'round the world mean nothing? is there no slack to be picked up?

 

July 28, 2006

keith:

Get that subscription to Penthouse ready Mr. Hawking. My one quibble with black holes was always that weren't magnetic. Problem solved!

 

July 17, 2006

keith:

The dang cybernet is all clogged up again! Someone go call the plumber so we can clean out all the tubes.

keith:
The internet is a warm, sticky, series of tubes...
 

July 12, 2006

allister:

You lacklustre sacks should be ashamed. A-S-H-A-M-E-D.

 

July 10, 2006

brian:

New "World Cup Finals 2006" video game.

 

July 5, 2006

keith:

Big Deuce reppin' it for all his soccer homies on the southside. Um, Clint, this isn't exactly the way to lend yourself credibility. See Shaq, John Cena, and the Chicago Bears.

 

June 28, 2006

keith:

Anyone know where I can get cheap airfare to Poland?

allister:
Wow - I really misread that quote... "If God doesn't help, everyone will be a drunkard with only a hole where the lake was."
 

June 26, 2006

allister:

Maury & his pickles. Phobias rock.

 

Better find it:


Better things to do:

  • adam - Officially becoming 1/2 a lawyer.
  • allister - Looking for a new underwear drawah.
  • brian - Look at me, I'm a shirt designer.
  • keith - Trying to pawn himself off as a New Yorker. Pssst... Herald Sq. is really a nice neighborhood.

Better at the dayjob:

  • Subway Stations - Sweating rivulets down your asscrack...
  • Batman - Still not cooler than the Joker.
  • This Summer - Spending 12 plus hours a day holed up in an office during the best season of the year aint all its cracked up to be...

Better shake'n'bake:

Better seen & heard: